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Divorce Advice Just For Guys

PostDateIcon May 7th, 2010 | PostAuthorIcon Author: Family

It’s almost guaranteed that you are on this page because you happen to be either in the unfortunate position of going through a divorce or you are very seriously considering divorcing your wife.

Divorce for guys can seem like a truly simple process. But get it wrong and the mistakes you make right now may have consequences for years to come.

If I’d had use of some straightforward but concise divorce advice for men throughout my own divorce, then the final result would certainly have been much – much better! But I will let you know more about that in a second.

Don’t forget…

Never take action without possessing all of the information you need right there in front of you.

Let me tell you about my divorce… It Sucked!

Before the divorce I owned a lovely home in an exceedingly nice location and two other properties which brought in an excellent rental income. I had a good balance in my checking account, an exec car and my pension pot was on target to allow me to retire at fifty.

Following the divorce, my home was gone, the rental homes were signed over to my ex-wife and eventually sold with all the profits placed straight into her bank-account. My goal of retirement at fifty was shattered and my checking account was cleaned out.

However a whole lot worse than any of this – and this is the thing that Truly hurts – access to my young children was restricted to merely two weekends per month.

My first reaction to all this was to blame my law firm… How could they have permitted this to happen to me? They billed me around $10,000 for council and I still had everything I cared for taken away from me.

However… It was not my law firms fault. It was My Own!

I was lazy and simply trusted what my friends were telling me. I went into the divorce without undertaking any of my own basic research. I did not equip myself with the truths and so left myself available to my ex-wife’s unreasonable demands and greed.

Now, I am a realistic guy and I’d been more than happy to give my wife half of the household assets, despite the fact that she hadn’t contributed to the family funds – I planned to be fair.

However, I did not know that ‘fairness’ performs no part in the legal systems view of divorce.

All of the systems, rules and guidelines are stacked hugely against men. You are NOT routinely permitted 50% of all assets even when it was you that worked hard and got all of those assets yourself.

If I were to offer divorce guidance for men it would basically be to wise up and obtain ALL the information you will need BEFORE you find yourself at the whim of your wife and her rabid attorneys.

I really hope that you found this information helpful, it is possible to come out of this divorce a winner – but only if you have a winners approach and act today.

And remember, Don’t act without having all the information right there in front of you.

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Child Custody Arrangements In Divorce

PostDateIcon May 7th, 2010 | PostAuthorIcon Author: Family

Shared Parental Responsibility

The Court prefers this type of custody arrangement over all others. Shared parenting contemplates both parents having an equal say so as it relates to making important decisions affecting the child’s welfare including but not necessarily limited to medical, religious and educational decisions. Until recently, the courts selected one parent to serve as the primary residential parent. Historically, that parent enjoyed the privilege of having that child live with them and the other parent was simply referred to as the secondary parent and/or the non-primary parent.

In July 2008, the Florida Legislature made significant revisions to the parent statute. The terms of primary and secondary parent were abolished. It was believed that by labeling parents in this manner acrimony was created. Instead, now we only have “parents”. Additionally, the term “visitation” was also deleted from the statute. Many parents were offended by the concept that when their children were spending time with them, their children were visiting with them. Children visit relatives such as grandparents, aunts, and uncles. Children also visit friends and neighbours. But children do not visit their parents, they live with them. It just so happens that children often live with one parent more than the other. Instead of using the term visitation, the statute now uses the term timesharing. Additionally, the statute now requires the parties to enter into a parenting plan to establish a mechanism for the manner in which decisions will be made. The statute also requires one parent to be designated as the parent who’s address will be used for purposes of determining where the children will attend school. The court may continue to use the term primary residence which is intended to define the home in which the children spend more than half of their time.

Usually one parent is awarded more timesharing than the other parent, however, that is not always the case. The parties are encouraged to enter into a timesharing agreement amongst themselves and/or with the assistance of their respective attorneys. Of course, if the parties can not reach an agreement the timesharing arrangement will be determined by the court.

Both parents owe an affirmative obligation to the other parent to encourage timesharing and to foster a loving relationship between the child and the other parent. Even though one parent may enjoy more timesharing than the other, both parents have an equal voice in making important decisions.

Sole Custody:

Unfortunately, under certain circumstances, it is in the best interests of a child if only one of his/her parents has the right to make important decisions in affecting their welfare. A parent that is awarded sole custody is not required to take the other parent’s opinions into consideration. Judges frown upon this type of custodial arrangement and are reluctant to order it, unless one of the parents has demonstrated that having the other parent participate in making decisions affecting the child is harmful to the child. A parent who has been convicted of child abuse or who has a drug problem probably is not going to be allowed to participate in making any decisions affecting the child’s welfare.

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How To Move On After A Break Up And Rebuild Your Life

PostDateIcon May 5th, 2010 | PostAuthorIcon Author: Family

From time to time when you move on after a (break up, loss or other major change) is hard. It is almost never easy unless you are so happy to escape from a position that you can’t delay to make changes and go on. The end of a relationship upsets your entire life. Anything you perform and notice appears to make you remember of your ex. If you had plenty common friends, it can be really difficult to maintain a relationship.

The major obstacle you will have to deal with is going to be your family and eventually your friends. If your ex had been accepted from your family, it is difficult to explain to them what happened. They will interrogate you trying to investigate the real reason that caused separation.

Every so often this is challenging for relatives to handle .They will attempt to speak about separation and how warm and peaceful was before hopping to convince you to reconnect. You can simply clarify. “Links moving on after a break up that’s that.”Finally it looks like they will be coming around to your way of thinking, because they are your people, they love you, and they will finally understand that whatever caused the end of the relationship, it happened for your own sake. It is almost likely going to be harder to manage when it ends up to your friends.

In case your common friends are not that many, then it should be no trouble. But if your friends have used to see you and enjoy your company then if you want to hang out alone with anybody of them could seem a kind of strange. What happens in case that your ex would want to hang out with them also? You must become real careful about hanging out with friends and choosing carefully whom to hung out with. Because at the end you might accidentally hurt someone of them in case he or she considers you as a very good friend. Therefore it is a little difficult to continue seeing those friends since the relationship has ended.

As challenging as it appears, when you say, “Links getting over a break up” you may have to stop a few of those friendships. You and your ex finally must choose to keep engagement with those you are attached and loving and provide your ex the chance to perform the same with the others. While this can be hurting, it is most likely simple on every person because they don’t have to pick which of you to be faithful to and which to stay away from.

Every so often the “Move on after a break up” phase is truly too challenging when you are encircled by common friends. If achievable, try to get some rest and go on vacation. If you have a friend who is not friend with your ex, then grab him and take a vacation. If not find a member from your family who you trust and who you are definite you can have good time with, and leave for a few days… As soon as you are stated, “Move on after a break up” at that moment then if you can escape for a few days it can help you in a tremendous degree.

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My House Not Yours: Appreciation Of The Marital Residence In Divorce

PostDateIcon May 4th, 2010 | PostAuthorIcon Author: Family

Pursuant to Statute, an asset purchased prior to the marriage is a “nonmarital” asset and is not subject to equitable distribution. How is that fair? After all, what if you worked throughout the course of the marriage and your income assisted in the payment of household expenses, maintenance, and the mortgage.
The answer to this question hinges upon whether the expenditures caused the property to appreciate in value. If the property appreciated strictly due to market conditions then the appreciation is considered passive. Passive appreciation of a non-marital asset is not subject to equitable distribution. Generally, the payment of household expenses, including the payment of the mortgage does not cause real property to appreciate. After all, do you really think that a home skyrockets in value due to the replacement of carpeting or faux painting?

On the other hand, what if you remodeled your kitchen with granite counter-tops or converted the garage into a large playroom? Perhaps you installed marble tiles, added a loft or a swimming pool. Well, that’s a horse of a different color. Expert witnesses, such as licensed real estate appraisers are in the best position to opine whether such improvements resulted in appreciation and to what extent. Most would agree that crown molding enhances the market value of a home but chances are, unless the crown molding is made out of gold it did not cause your home to appreciate by much more than its cost. If a portion of the home increases due to improvements, the burden is upon the non-owner to show a dollar value of that enhancement, for purposes of being awarded a portion of the appreciation.

Courts have acknowledged that the increased equity enjoyed by a homeowner due to the reduction of the mortgage can be a marital asset if the monies used to pay the mortgage were from marital funds; i.e., on the date of marriage, your spouse owed $200,000.00 on the promissory note and five years later, the payoff on the note was $190,000.00. I know what you’re thinking. That’s crazy. You and your spouse paid at least $1,000.00 per month for the past five years. That’s $60,000.00. Your math is correct but you’ve overlooked one very important fact. A large portion of the mortgage payments made during your marriage were applied towards interest, taxes, and insurance. Remember, we’re only talking about the reduction of the principal balance owed on the note. Based upon the foregoing, your interest in the property is fifty percent (50%) of the principal reduction owed on the note which in this example is merely $5,000.00. It matters very little that your spouses home is now worth $150,000.00 more than it was five years earlier.

At first blush, this seems unfair but a closer examination reveals otherwise. After all, suppose you purchased a home all on your own and then got married. You’re the one that was smart enough and brave enough to make the initial investment and you’re the one that is obligated to pay the bank. Even if your spouse contributed to the monthly mortgage payments, so what. In truth, everyone has to live somewhere and paying the mortgage down did not cause the house to appreciate. If your spouse wasn’t living with you he or she probably would have been paying rent somewhere else.

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